Bombs Away

CAA has their own script exploder

By now, we've all heard about the guy who was so desperate to have his script read, he dropped off his computer at a talent agency.  Of course the whole thing ended poorly as the agency called the bomb squad and blew up his lap top.

So that got me thinking that there are easier and less costly ways to have your script rejected.  I've posted some recommendations below.

Also, and this is very important, if you know the guy who had his script exploded, please contact me immediately at TempX@tempdiaries.com.  I must reach this person.

But on to the ideas.  Feel free to add your own in the comments section:

• Dress up as a pizza delivery person and put your script inside the box.  They'll never open it because carbs are still verboten in Hollywood.
• Tell the receptionist Ara Keshisian must read it as part of your court-ordered settlement.
• Use the logline, "Citizen Kane as told from the standpoint of the sled."
• Attach a dime bag of cocaine to your script...wait, that might work...unless they think it's anthrax.
• Have your Uncle Frank, an HVAC technician at the ICM building, put in a good word with Chris Silbermann.
• Start a blog.  That's a surefire waste of time.
• Give 'em the old "$5 handshake."
• Get an agent's cell phone number.  Then text your movie script to her.  It should only take about 800 messages.
• Explain your script offers strong characters, a good story, it isn't based on any previous show/movie/website/Twitter feed/book, there are no product placements and Ashton Kutcher isn't in it.  If that doesn't get it rejected, nothing will.