Carmageddon It

The end is near...

What kind of mediocre entertainment site would I be if I didn't make some sort of reference to this weekend's 405 shutdown -- or as the local media are calling it (cue echo effect) CARMAGEDDON?  Well, I'd probably just be Deadline|Hollywood.

Anyhoo, as you all know, I fancy myself a low-grade Weird Al Yankovic.  And what could possibly be a better topic than the traffic jam to end all traffic jams?  You know the drill by now, click "Play" and sing along to my newest song "Carmageddon It."

Now it's time for me to prepare.  I'll be at Rite Aid getting my survival kit -- four cases of beer, ten cans of Spaghetti-O's, pepper spray and US Weekly.

Ya better get home now before chaos comes

There's no chance if you don't change your stance

The 405 is a four-letter word

And now they're fixin to shut it down

You got it?

But are you stuck in it?

This ain't no Sig Alert or a traffic jam

It makes rush hour look like a lamb

You know you can't stop it

So don't mock it

It's such a crock it...

Hey, but are you stuck in it?

Really stuck in it?

Gettin' stuck from LA DOT

I'm in all of your traffic - every stupid car

I'm in all that you got - every fuckin' truck

Every bit of your traffic - even motorbikes

Everything has just stopped

Yeah, but are you stuck in it? - Carmageddon it!

Ooh, really stuck in it? - Yes, Carmaggedon it!

You try surface streets because you're clever...

But they're no better than the crap you just left

Yeah, you ride those brakes like a cowboy...

Better get yourself a new pair of boots

You got it?

But are you stuck in it?

You flash your taillights like a peacock...

So much so that you wore out the bulbs

You know you can't stop it

So don't mock it

It's such a crock it...

Hey, but are you stuck in it?

Really stuck in it?

Gettin' stuck from LA DOT

I'm in all of your traffic - every stupid car

I'm in all that you got - every fuckin' truck

Every bit of your traffic - even motorbikes

Everything has just stopped

Yeah, but are you stuck in it? - Carmageddon it!

Ooh, really stuck in it? - Yes, Carmaggedon it!

Take it, take it, take it from me

Rent a helicopter or a UFO

Fly it, fly it, far away from here

'cause the worst is yet to come, I say

'cause the worst is yet to come

Are you stuck in it? Really stuck in it?

Yes, are you're stuck in it? Really stuck in it?

Stuck from LA DOT 

I'm in all of your traffic - every stupid car

I'm in all that you got - every fuckin' truck

Every bit of your traffic - even motorbikes

Everything has just stopped - Carmageddon it

[Repeat Chorus/Fade Out]