Ask Fake Ari Emanuel

Still not real Ari

Welcome to another edition of Ask Fake Ari Emanuel.*  Fake Ari will answer all of your questions because he's made it to the second highest level of Hollywood -- WME2.  And who knows? One of these days CAA might just hire him as a floater.  If you have any questions for Fake Ari, please send them to TempX@tempdiaries.com.

*Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.  No animals were harmed during the writing of this posting.  Please don't sue me.

ANONYMOUS READER ASKS: I am currently temping for a CEO of a production company and he's a bit of a kurmudgeon...the difficult/challenging type.  I am currently getting paid $15 an hour however someone here at the company revealed to me that temp agency is getting $35 an hour!  Can you believe that kind of capitalist shit?!

Anyhow. Do you think it's possible to negotiate with my temp agency for more money...I'm looking for $20-22.

Me Spell Pretty Some Day

FAKE ARI EMANUEL RESPONDS: Have you ever used a computer before?  I'm guessing not because everyone who has knows HOW TO USE FUCKING SPELLCHECK!!  It's "Curmudgeon," not however you fucked it up.  I'm surprised the temp agency even placed you.  And don't get me started on your punctuation.  Sentences that are questions end WITH QUESTION MARKS!!

As for the abomination of marking up your hourly rate, I'm horrified.  I mean most businesses secure things like rent, employees, utilities, insurance and office supplies on the "Free Stuff" section of Craigslist...Of course I can believe it.  I'm guessing you took Econ 101 in college and got a C-.

But let's get to the re-negotiation portion of your question.  Can you attempt to talk to your temp agent about getting a higher salary?  Sure.  Is asking for a 33 percent raise a sure-fire way to get replaced?  Absolutely.  These are the kind of discussions you have before starting the job, not while you're already there.  Remember, "Temp" is short for "Temporary Employee," which is exactly what you'll be if you consider asking for this kind of a pay bump.

My recommendation -- find a real job.