The Temp X and Trader Joe's Project

Not my kitchen.

I kind of remember watching the Golden Globes.  As you might recall, I got exceedingly drunk while watching celebs get exceedingly drunk.  The one thing I do recollect was feeling a tinge of jealousy as Meryl Streep winning for her portrayal of Julia Child in the blog-inspired film Julie and Julia.  I just kept thinking, "I have a blog. I've been written up in the New York Times. I eat.  Where's my trophy?"

I considered hatching my own scheme to achieve international fame where I would follow a cookbook and learn life's lessons. But there were some problems with this idea

1. I barely know how to cook.
2. I don't have time to cook.
3. I don't make enough money to buy ingredients in your average cookbook.
4. "Me too" projects never work in Hollywood. 

Momentarily flummoxed, I thought about what makes Julie and Julia work. And then it hit me. Alliteration. Thus I present to you...

The Temp X and Trader Joe's Project

For the next month, I will only eat food from Trader Joe's for dinner.  With a little luck, I'll not only survive, but I will learn a few life lessons along the way.  Feel free to play along at home.

Monday's Dinner: Spicy California Rolls ($2.99)

WHY THIS MEAL WORKS?
It's ready made.  There's no room for error...unless you leave it out the fridge too long or it gets past the expiration date.  Those could both pose a problem.  The rolls (manufactured by Okami) have a lot of rice, so it's filling.  They're not terribly spicy for something called "Spicy," but I suppose that's what the wasabi is for.  And when you put low-sodium soy sauce on them, it masks the fact that you're eating pre-packaged sushi from a plastic container.  On the plus side, it's cheap and the pain ends quickly.

WHAT DID I LEARN ABOUT MYSELF?
I'm reminded that I like finger food, which is convenient because that means I don't have to do dishes after I'm done.  Living a disposable existence does have an upside.

HOW DOES THIS HELP ME IN HOLLYWOOD?
I can easily dupe people into thinking I'm more important than I am when I tell them, "I've had sushi last night with ABC."  They'll think I've been having important dinners Katsuya with Steve McPherson when the reality is I'm eating TJ's "fishy parts" while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in my underwear.