ISO: 2010 Hollywood Assistant Beer Pong Team

Spring is in the air. Those few confusing weeks when LA is neither cold and rainy nor hot and smoggy are upon us. The coming of the Vernal Equinox can only mean one thing. A certain rite we've waited 364 days for -- the Hollywood Assistant Beer Pong Tournament -- has returned.

Yes. America's least-sanitary drinking game is back. And for the second year in a row, the Hollywood Temp Diaries is fielding a team! Show off your deftness at throwing a ball into a plastic cup as representatives from CAA, CBS, Lionsgate and countless other places that aren't hiring look on it terror.

Last year Team Temp Diaries consisted of the first people to email me expressing interest. That approach resulted in a first round defeat at the hands of Spyglass Entertainment. So this year I'm taking a slightly different tack. You're gonna have to earn the right to represent the most important blog in Hollywood. You're gonna have to earn this right through haiku.

From now until March 31, 2010, email me your best haiku about your life in Hollywood. The writers of the four best haikus will earn a coveted spot on Team Temp Diaries (2 players + 2 alternates). I will then pony up the cash for the team. Then you'll get drunk and make me proud. It's that easy. I just have a few requirements:

1. You are actually a Temp or unemployed.
2. You will be in LA April 24, 2010 between 5 pm and 2 am to participate in the tournament.
3. You can get to Lucky Strike (6801 Hollywood Blvd) and can find a way to get home safely.
4. You have some basic understanding of throwing a ping pong ball.
5. You like beer, or at least are willing to drink it.
6. You know how to write a haiku.

That's it. Get to haikuing. Once you're done, sent it to me TempX@tempdiaries.com and the judging will commence. Here's my entry. I hope yours is better.

Hollywood sucks. Sucks
Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks.
Yep. Totally sucks.