Celebs: They're just like us -- only better looking and dumber

Calling Heidi Montag a celebrity is like calling Jack in the Box fine dining. That is to say, there are some people who actually believe these statements to be true. The problem is these same people have no taste. So it's with that well-crafted analogy that I bring you today's edition of Celebs: They're just like us -- only better looking and dumber.

Her Royal Plasticness recently told People.com the following:

After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager. Having an intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has...No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career. The time for change is now. Never mix business and pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi.

I actually don't know where to start with this one. Is it best to start with hiring a "healer" to be your manager? Calling a "healer" a "psychic?" That Heidi has a "team" supporting her? Or that she refers to herself in the third person? You pick. They're all absurd. Perhaps Heidi will get enough cosmetic surgery that it'll prevent her from opening her mouth.

We can only hope.