Whoops. They call it "Fact Checking" for a reason.
[Note: It's at the it's at the 11:26 mark] 
Really? This merits a "TOLDJA!"? (I'm not sure how to punctuate that, sorry.) A simple web search shows no dearth of coverage on this merger already from such outlets as Variety, The Wrap and You. The press release was just a formality.
COVERAGE -- In a town where those wearing the fewest clothes win, coverage would seem to be the last thing anyone in Hollywood would want. But writers crave coverage. Could this be because writers are ugly and, if given the option, would prefer pull the bed sheets up to their eyes making them look like one of the Sand People? Nope. The coverage we crave has nothing to do with $300 True Religion hip-huggers or Christian Audigier belly shirts. Coverage for us is when a Hollywood exec's assistant compiles a three paragraph, Cliffs Notes summary of your 160-page Magnum Opus, thus sparing the exec from doing his job. Months later, after you've been rejected, you find out the assistant didn't grasp your modern interpretation of Shakespeare's Cymbeline because she's "more of an America's Next Top Model fan."
NOTES -- So let's say you've demonstrated enough discipline and moxie to finish a script. Now you need to go back through and fix all the plot holes and unresolved story lines. The problem is you've spent six months reading and re-reading your own work. You're at the point that you can't even recognize a typo in your name much less find inconsistencies in your main character. That's why you have friends -- or as we writers call them "people who gently provide feedback on our scripts, paying special attention to our fragile psyche." So you give these people your script and ask them what needs fixing. We call these notes. [TIP: "Your script sucks" in not considered an adequate note.]
POLISH -- This has nothing to do with jokes about hockey teams drowning during Spring training, screen doors on submarines, light bulb changing with a rotating ladder or being stuck on a broken escalator. This is the other pronunciation of the word (pä-lish). It means taking your script, incorporating the notes (see above) and making it glisten. This becomes very useful for beating your head against when you see American Gladiator: The Movie has been green lit.
I had a phone interview the other day! I may soon be able to cast off this Scarlet T forever. Hooray for me, right? Wrong.
I don't understand how computers work. And God knows I've tried. I've attempted to learn programming in BASIC, Pascal, Java, Perl, DOS and a few other dead languages (LOGO anyone?). My inability to understand new ways to have my computer say "Hello World" is what keeps my blog looking average and prevents me from securing a lucrative job as a System Administrator."To create and then fix a problem with the computer."So simple yet so complex. Brilliant really. One tip -- I recommend setting up a Rube Goldberg-type contraption that requires 35 steps to turn your computer OFF, wait five seconds then then turn it ON.
If I never wanted to work again, the first thing I'd do is find a forum and chide or at least offer backhanded compliments to potential co-workers and...well, never mind what I'd do. I'm a nobody going nowhere. Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, is an A-lister with an impressive roster of failed relationships and body of work to match."If I eat burgers and fries everyday I won't get the parts I'm offered. I'd become a character actress, that may be fine one day but not right now."
[Insert witty comment here about my lack of income, poor MS Excel skills and not having any friends except those in PETA. Then follow it up with instructions for Time Waster #4]...Create an Excel spreadsheet labeled "XXX Prod. Co. - 4th Qtr Analysis," then shrink page view to 45% so no one any closer than six feet can really see what I'm typing and type my Christmas lists w/amounts in the "Total" column, etc.
After exploring the romantic angst of vampires in "Twilight," Summit is developing an action-oriented take on the most famous of the fanged: Dracula.
On behalf of the Hollywood Temp Diaries Board of Governors, I am pleased to announce the results of the 2009 Il Festival di d'Arte Cinematografica di Assurdita'.
May I suggest a slightly less sensationalistic headline next time? Or a sub-head indicating Brokaw did not perish. Seriously Harvey, the third graf?
We celebrated pranks during our Hunt the Gowk Day edition of the Temp Diaries. But what never occurred to me is these nefarious deeds also serve as an exciting time waster! Here's a fun one to get even with the boss who treated you like chattel... "Make fake calls to ex-bosses saying I have a big wig on the phone then hanging up."[NOTE: Some phones have Caller ID, so make sure to hit *67 first so your call can't be traced.]
Posted 12/1/09 @ 4:38 pm PT
Posted 12/1/09 @ 5:06 p.m. PT
Posted 12/1/09 @ 6:09 pm PT
A number of years ago, I remember my client (a Fortune 500 company) was convinced the Internet would create a paperless work world. They believed this so much they began limiting the number of file cabinets each employee could have, as no paper means no need for files. Clearly their individually-wrapped processed cheese slices were turning their brains into mush."Shuffling papers around my desk every time I hear my boss fidget in his chair. I also make sure to 'walk around the office' to retrieve a 'lost paper' every 30.2 minutes. I'm also the master of mouse-clicking."If you have tips or ideas, please submit them and share with your fellow cogs. They'll appreciate the help.
It's the slow time of the year. And in a year where business is running at a snail's pace and the threat of layoff looms, you need to look as busy as possible. So until Hollywood goes on Christmas Break on December 18, I will offer daily tips and tricks on ways to waste time while looking busy. These come courtesy of my readers. I offer no guarantees of their success in warding off HR, but they seem reasonable. Hole punching slowly...only 5 pages when you can do 15, for example... that wastes time!Ah yes, that trick is as old as they come. Divide and delay. If you have tips or ideas, please submit them and share with your fellow cogs. They'll appreciate the help.
Some CBS nincompoop offered this as a response to why they blurred out Adam Lambert's "kiss" during his performance on The Early Show.We gave this some real thought. The Madonna image (where she kisses Britney Spears) is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on morning television. The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated, and for all we know, may still lead to legal consequences.So if I understand this correctly, if The Early Show had better ratings (and thus more widely disseminated), they wouldn't have blurred it out? Of course this show has a 30 year track record of getting trounced by GMA and the Today Show. So that ratings bump ain't happening any time soon. Oh, and what are the legal consequences?
