Fall TV Preview: ABC

ABC has a whole pile of new shows. I don't feel like writing a Summary/Analysis/Prediction for all of them, so instead I'll give you the briefest of comments. Enjoy.


THE FORGOTTEN: Summary makes it sound like Cold Case/Without a Trace/CSI/NCIS. Don't we have enough of these on TV already? Prediction is built into the title.

THE MIDDLE: Three-camera comedy with a bad title about an average family. Stars Patricia Heaton (the only person I know without a belly button). I smell a cancellation before Thanksgiving.

MODERN FAMILY: Single-camera comedy with a bad title about three average families. Stars Ed O'Neill (Al Bundy) as an older and grumpier version of Al Bundy minus any references to "hooters." I smell a cancellation before Thanksgiving.

HANK:Three-camera comedy with a bad title about a family. Stars Kelsey Grammer playing the same pompous character Kelsey Grammer always plays (Fraiser, Sideshow Bob). I'm starting to wonder if it's not acting. This might just make it past Thanksgiving.

COUGAR TOWN: Following the successful Desperate Housewives marketing philosophy, ABC has Courtney Cox wearing very few clothes in their promos. So that should give it good enough ratings to merit a full-season order. Their big problem is the three shows leading in could easily be described as "Cash for Clunkers." Hey-o!

EASTWICK: Witches will not be the new Vampires. Oh, and if you're gonna do a TV adaptation of a movie, it's probably better to no wait 22 years. Public awareness has a tendency to fade during five presidential administrations. Out of deference to the late John Updike, they'll give it at least 13 episodes before giving the show a "creative retooling."

FLASH FORWARD: Finally! A good show. Sure, it's basically LOST with a bit of a twist. But who cares? A good show is a good show. Don't call me at 8 p.m. on Thursday as I'll be watching this and won't answer the phone.