Take a Ride on the Wild Side

People ask me why I don't blog more about my exciting life in the entertainment industry. They want to know about the celebrities I meet and the crazy parties I go to. They are much less interested in my impersonations of dead authors, which apparently offer all the comic timing and intrigue of the HP Laserjet P1006 Instruction Manual. I try to convince them that as a Temp and an aspiring writer my life has been overly romanticized by...well...Hollywood. Bastards.

So here's the excitement that was my yesterday. Hold on tight...

7 a.m. -- Awakened by a friend calling to tell me, "You know that show you're working on? I just saw basically the same thing on [Network Redacted]." Felt an immediate desire to go back to sleep.
7:10 a.m. -- Checked each of my 4 email accounts (2 personal, 1 for Temp Diaries and 1 as an imaginary female that allows me access to the NextGenFemmes Message Board. I'm like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie, a well-meaning but misguided person trying to find work in entertainment.)
7:30 a.m. -- Avoided going to the gym. Endorphins are for suckers.
7:31 a.m. -- Posted Copyright Infringement Theatre rather than an actual blog entry. Channeled my inner NBC logic "If you haven't seen it before, it's new to you."
8:01 a.m. -- Looked at the UTA joblist. Realized it might be time to start lying on my resume.
8:02 a.m. -- Looked for employment in my previous career. Realized there's no work there either.
8:45 a.m. -- Showered for no real reason.
9:00 a.m. -- It was so dull, I don't even remember.
11 a.m. -- Went to my friend's office just to be a part of a workplace.
11:45 a.m. -- Arrived at my friend's office. It took me 45 minutes to go 8 miles because of construction on Highland.
12:10 p.m. -- Realized I had nothing to write about. Started helping my friend do her work.
1 p.m. -- Had an underwhelming barbecue beef sandwich (not enough meat).
2 p.m. -- Tried writing again. Failed. Fell asleep in my friend's office.
5 p.m. -- Faxed a resume. Then prayed.
6:25 p.m. -- Drove home. It took 40 minutes to go 8 miles because of traffic on Highland.
7:30 p.m. -- Watched The Simpsons.
8:03 p.m. -- Used my new Swiffer to clean up dog hair that's practically embedded in my carpet. Put a sweet potato in the oven.
8:10 p.m. -- Watched two episodes of Extras. Realized it's a lot like Seinfeld.
9 p.m. -- Had dinner, the aforementioned sweet potato.
9:15 p.m. -- Completed the video game Medal of Honor, so I cracked out a new one -- Alone in the Dark. This new game offers disappointing weapons like a flash light and a fire extinguisher. Do not buy this game!
11 p.m. -- Watched another episode of The Simpsons.
11:46 p.m. -- Fell asleep on the couch right after Conan did his "In the Year 3000" routine (f.k.a. "In the Year 2000).
Time Unknown -- Dreamt about P.J. O'Rourke. Weird.