Pauly Shore or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Hollywood

I never liked Pauly Shore. I'm one of the few people in Hollywood old enough to remember when he was "The Weee-ee-sal" during the Golden Age of MTV. When he had his Jew-fro mullet. When he wore those day-glo tank tops and absurdly tight bike shorts (which were certainly stuffed). When he offered a brand of "comedy" that was only slightly less painful than having a sphigmoidoscopy during 7.2 earthquake.

And then came his movie career. Between 1993-97, Pauly Shore was a/the main character in a shockingly irresponsible amount of wasted celluloid. He did SIX movies (Encino Man, Son in Law, In the Army Now, Jury Duty, Bio-Dome and The Curse of the Inferno) in FOUR years.

But what does this have to do with Temp X?

About eight months ago, I pitched a show to a studio executive. He really liked the idea, but requested a few tweaks before pitching it to his boss. I did. We did. The presentation received a response that can only be described as, "Feh."

Was the show dead yet? With that studio, yes. But if I found someone to host the show, maybe that would get a studio more interested? I shopped it around and was able to get numerous comics interested in hosting. They weren't huge names, but they'd been on Kimmel, Conan and were Improv regulars. And most of all, they were funny.

So now I have talent lined up. Then a friend of mine -- who is keen on the show idea too -- tells me to get her the treatment and she'll pass it along to her contact at [Network Redacted]. I did. She did. And I crossed my fingers.

A couple weeks go by and nothing happens...until yesterday. My Instant Messenger pops up. It's that same friend who requested the treatment:

"I gave the pitch to [Network Redacted]..."

My pulse registers. That's good news. I'm not dead. And perhaps this project isn't either. Maybe they even liked it. I eagerly await the second part of the message.

"Pauly Shore had just came in to pitch the same show...with him hosting."

I die a little inside.

Pauly Shore? Pauly Fucking Shore?! Pauly Shore? I'm not sure what's worse, losing out to Pauly Shore or having the same idea as Pauly Shore.

But that's Hollywood. No idea is unique. Everything's been done before and will be done again. Just ask Ben Silverman.

I still hate Pauly Shore...unless he wants to hire me.