Happy Birthday to the Hollywood Temp Diaries -- You're 1!

Technically, the Temp Diaries turned 1 on April 11. But I was too busy wondering what the hell happened to my life and fighting with my health insurance provider to notice. But let's take a moment to celebrate.

So much has transpired since that fateful day that some unnamed Hollywood exec walked into my office du jour and complained of irritable bowel syndrome that it's hard to keep track of it all. Knight Rider came and went. Speed Racer came and went. GE, Viacom, Time Warner and Disney lost a combined gazillion dollars in market capitalization. The national unemployment jumped from 5.5 percent to 8.5 percent (currently California unemployment is 11.2 percent). Ah, Bush administration nostalgia. In good news, during those same 365 days, Valerie Bertinelli lost a bunch of weight, whitened her teeth and bought a cute bikini.

So take out your kazoo, party hats and streamers and celebrate the key numbers in the year that was for the Hollywood Temp Diaries.

253 Total postings
252 Times I thought "Writing a blog is a real pain in the ass."
10 Amount (in dollars) I paid to register www.tempdiaries.com
30 Amount (in dollars) I paid to sponsor the Temp Diaries Beer Pong team
0 Games my Beer Pong Team won (love you guys anyway)
2 Postings with reference to the 1980's TV show Riptide
40 Times I've made fun of Ben Silverman
41 Times Ben Silverman deserved it
3 Dead people who wrote for my site (Plimpton, HST, Rice)
2 Times people who don't know I run this blog told me to check it out
18 Times I was too lazy to post (a.k.a. Copyright Infringement Theatre)
13 People who have unsubscribed from the UTA joblist
9 Number of times people in Pakistan have read my blog
9 Number of times people in Wyoming have read my blog
8 Number of naked pictures sent from obsessed fans (just kidding, it's zero)
4 Times I tried writing a writing entries under the influence
331 Days between my prediction of Hollywood's demise and the SAG deal.
1 Number of new Temp Pimps I registered with in the last year
0 Number of times that new Pimp called me
37 Terms defined in the Hollywood Dictionary
1 Terms in the Hollywood Dictionary that makes sense ("Producer")
$5,380.50 Year-to-Date Earnings (you know how much I made last year)
0 Number of job offers I've received in since starting this blog