10 things I love about Hollywood

Not all of Hollywood is awful. Sure a lot of it is filled with self-important shitheads, starving writers or "starving" actresses (neither anorexia nor bulimia count as starving as they're voluntary). There are actually some parts that seem like...well...home. That assumes that you're from a town littered with strip malls, over-priced boutiques and horrific traffic. Lucky for me, I'm from Miami.

So without any further adieu, here are 10 things I love about Hollywood...

1 - Beach volleyball in January. I never liked volleyball when I was younger, but that may be the result of trying to make a dig while playing on asphalt. Sand is a lot more forgiving. And to be able to play it while the rest of the country is trying to figure out whether to wear four or five layers of clothes while checking the mail...

2 - It's only a three hour drive to Vegas. So what if I speed a little bit.

3 - The "Our show got canceled so we're selling off everything" sales. I went to one of these and bought about $2,000 worth of clothes for $85. This includes designer shirts, jackets, pants and shoes, many which still had tags on them. Oh, and I got a cape for $5.

4 - I've met the Mount Rushmore of kitsch: Pee Wee Herman, Mr. T, William Shatner and TV's Frank.

5 - The salad bar at CBS Radford. It's not great, but you can get a pretty decent-sized salad for $4.06. And it comes with a roll or a piece of cornbread.

6 - The friends I've made. Turns out not everyone in Hollywood is a conniving asshole. You know they're normal if they enjoy going to Roller Derby as much as you do. [Note: For those looking for conniving assholes, fear not. Just stand at the corner of Constellation Boulevard and Avenue of the Stars in Century City. They manufacture them there.]

7 - Screeners of shows that never made/shouldn't have made it to air. You'll immediately know why certain CBS execs got sacked the second you watch Viva Laughlin. Plus you'll get to watch the desecration the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil". (Perhaps that should be on a list of things I hate about Hollywood?)

8 - Knowing that things can change in an instant. You might need to wait for five-to-ten years of instants to get there. But they can change. Or so I've been told.

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