"The Hollywood Temp Diaries" -- 100th episode spectacular

I know! It seems like just yesterday I was relaying stories of a Hollywood exec's bout with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. But here we are, 100 episodes into this little experiment. Let's Party!!

Nope.

In deference to the scaled back Republican National Committee, which is in deference to the needs of victims of Hurricane Gustav, which is in response to their own lack of response to Hurricane Katrina, I've scaled back my own celebration.

Sorry folks. And we even had a star-studded line-up featuring Black Velvet Flag, "Chef Ron" Popeil and the Hollywood Temp Diaries Dancers. But instead of all that, we're just gonna do a rundown of my day -- an ITO (Intended Day Off) because of a 5:30 p.m. interview.


12:05 a.m. -- Went to bed after watching Letterman's opening monologue, Top 10 and some bit from the RNC. Decided to see if Nicolas Cage was an interesting guest or just a boring blow-hard. I made it about 30 seconds into his interview and he said he spent Labor Day on an airplane. No punch line. That was it. I turned it off.

5:55 a.m. -- Dog X wakes up.

5:55:01 a.m. -- Dog X wakes me up. I'm on the couch because the living room is the only place in my apartment with air conditioning. I turn on the TV, flip through all eight channels (no cable) and give up.

6:30 a.m. -- I finish Wednesday's posting "It's a Wonderful Life?" only to realize there's a code error that requires 20 minutes of repair. It's as tedious as it sounds.

8:45 a.m. -- Mid-morning nap.

10 a.m. -- Mid-morning nap concludes. Brief check of e-mail indicates no job offers.

10:41 a.m. -- Realized that 100 episodes means I can now go into syndication and make real money.

10:52 a.m. -- Gazed blankly at computer.

11:37 a.m. -- Took Dog X out. Simultaneously wondered whether dogs have better lives than Temps.

11:45 a.m. -- Found a bag of peanut M&Ms I stole from Tuesday's gig.

11:46 a.m. -- Finished eating the found bag of peanut M&Ms. Began counting down until sugar rush.

12:01 p.m. -- Dropped off an invoice for some work I did reading scripts. Realized it will pay just enough to cover 2 weeks rent.

12:32 p.m. -- Bought two used books for a combined $2.25.

12:32:03 p.m. -- Realized I have more unread books than read books.

1:12 p.m. -- Made fish tacos for lunch. Or better put -- fried up canned tuna, re-fried beans and salsa and pretended it was fish tacos.

1:38 p.m. -- Researched my 5:30 p.m. interview on Studio Systems using account info I stole from one of my previous temp assignments.

1:47 p.m. -- Decided to read a movie script that's in active production with the goal of mimicking major components of it. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

2:27 p.m. -- Actually began reading the script.

3:21 p.m. -- The phone rings. An unrecognized number. This can only be very good news or very bad news.

3:21:02 p.m. -- "Hi, this is [Name Redacted] regarding your interview today..."

3:21:04 p.m. -- Uh oh. It's gonna be bad news. The apologetic tone of voice is a dead give away.

3:21:08 p.m. -- "We found someone we want to hire. Sorry to cancel on such short notice. So...I guess that's it."

3:21:10 p.m. -- How do I know this won't be the last time something like this happens?

3:22 p.m. -- Finished today's blog.

3:30 p.m. -- Celebrated the 100th posting and drowned the pain of another canceled interview simultaneously with a shot of Jagermeister and a nap.


Ok. Maybe we can have a little celebration.