THE SPIN-OFFICE

Variety confirmed yesterday some of the early details about the spin-off of the top rated (well, in NBC terms) show The Office. The big news is they signed a guy I've never heard of (Aziz Ansari) from a show I might have heard of (Human Giant). Here are a couple guesses as to how they'll use Ansari and what the new show will look like...

The Predictable
Ansani runs a Dunder-Mifflin call center in Bangalore. Stereotypes ensue. NBC forgets (or knowingly copies?) the 2006 and 2008 movies Outsourced.

Office 2.0
Having suffered the embarrassment of Ryan and his double dipping, Dunder-Mifflin hires management consultants to fix their web strategy. Ansari's character offers a combination of Dwight and Michael. He runs this small account with an iron fist (trampling all over the junior execs) but is a wimp when it comes to dealing upper management. Kinda reminds me of my old boss [Name Redacted].

The Couch-Centric (a.k.a. -- The Stanley Show)
Stanley settles his lawsuit against Dunder-Mifflin that emerged from Michael's ill-conceived "fake firing" (Season 4, Ep. 12 -- "Did I Stutter"). Of course, Stanley finds out that the only thing worse than working is not working.

This is a three camera sitcom about a man, his free-spending wife and his attractive teenage daughter. Stanley's neighbor (played by Ansari) is an overly earnest Amway salesman who continually tries to get Stanley interested in joining the sales force and date his daughter. Think Married with Children but with more disposable income.

The Odd Couple Redux
With Ryan in jail and awaiting trial, Dunder-Mifflin promotes Jim and Dwight to be co-heads of the Northeast Region/New Media. The problem comes when Dunder-Mifflin forgets to tell the two they will be splitting Ryan's salary in addition to his job responsibilities. But for these two, there's no turning back.

Pam dumped Jim after falling for Hirishi, a gender-neutral art student. Dwight lost the derby for Angela's heart. With no reason to stay, a promotion (but pay decrease) awaiting, the two decide split a 1 bedroom in Manhattan. Ansari plays the building superintendent and doubles as Dwight's wingman/Battlestar Galactica viewing buddy. Jim slowly becomes addicted to Quaaludes after picking some up on a trip to Mexico.

Alien Invasion
Ansari plays a space alien named Nork with no fashion sense and a penchant for wearing ridiculous suspenders. In an episode called "My Favorite Norkan," Nork threatens to take Jim back to his home planet as an example of a human/victim of capitalism. Nork's plan is foiled by Toby (back from Belize) because he can't produce an H-1B visa.

[Note: I've already registered all these ideas with the WGA, so don't think of stealing them.]