Hollywood Dictionary -- Part 2

Hollywood operates at a breakneck speed. In fact, things happen so quickly that it took only 20 years to make the fourth "Indiana Jones" movie. Because of this pace, words and phrases are truncated all the time. I offer to you more from the Rosetta Stone that is "The Hollywood Dictionary."

"Can I have him/her return?" - Short for "Can I have him/her return your call?" which is then short for "The Hollywood executive you're trying to reach is talking to someone more important than you and/or is ignoring your call. When he/she is ready, I will dial the phone for for him/her (as this person is above such labor-intensive tasks) and discuss, albeit briefly, whatever you want."

[An amusing anecdote: When Temp X moved to LA, he was "rolling calls" with his boss. The assistant on the other end said her boss was unavailable and, "Can I have him return?" To which Temp X asked, "Return what?"]

P & TY -- Short for "Please and Thank You." You'll often see this in a blast email asking other assistants for help doing something that the requester could easily obtain on his or her own. Such an email might say, "Does anyone have the phone number for Fox Television? P & TY." One of these days Temp X is going to send a response that says "N & YL" (No, and You're Lazy).

Rockstar Assistant -- There's no term in Hollywood that makes less sense than "Rockstar Assistant" -- not "Prequel," "Director's Cut" or "Ankles." Yet it's used all the time ostensibly to describe a hard working assistant. (Run-on sentence alert!) How there is any connection between someone whose life is a party infrequently interrupted by performing in front of thousands of adoring fans and an assistant for an egomaniac Hollywood agent who would sooner quit than offer an ounce of praise is beyond me. Or perhaps a better question is would a record label promote their star as "A PowerPoint-Savvy Musician?"


Poached -- 1. An effective way of cooking foods for both hot or cold service, not only does it produce healthy food but it enhances flavor. It can, however, require considerable skill and judgment particularly with complex shallow poached fish dishes. 2. Something that requires no skill or judgment -- stealing high-profile staff or clients from a competitor, as in the sentence, "CAA just poached UTAs top four agents as well as Jim Carrey and Will Farrell."