Temping and the Upfronts

As predictable as the swallows flocking to Capistrano or drunk college kids swerving to South Padre Island, television network executives, producers and advertisers descend on New York City for "The Upfronts."

At these events, the major networks (as well as NBC and the CW) announce which shows are gonna replace the crappy shows that bombed miserably last year (Cavemen, The Bionic Woman). After revealing these shows to much fan fare (mostly from themselves), the network execs proceed to get advertisers really drunk in hopes they'll commit to buying more ads than they should, need or can justify. [Note: Execs also get really drunk as they soon realize they've decided to spend millions of dollars on a musical TV show based in a casino in Laughlin, Nevada.]

Now what does this have to do with a Temp? Well, it means there's not much to do this week because everyone important is out of town. So instead of working, let's review some of the shows that got picked up:

LIFE ON MARS (ABC) -- A REMAKE of a BBC series about some cop who travels back in time to the 1970s. Strangely he doesn't notice because there's a moron in the White House, gas prices are sky high and Richard Simmons is...well...Richard Simmons. FATE: Will last longer (but not by much) than Journeyman, last season's show about some time traveling guy.

CLASS DISMISSED (Fox) -- A REMAKE of an Australian animated series Sit Down, Shut Up. Really funny pilot script from the guy who did Arrested Development. FATE: Critically Acclaimed.

ELEVENTH HOUR (CBS) -- A REMAKE of a British TV series (are we noticing a trend?). It's something about science, crime and government agencies. Sounds like Numb3rs if you ask me. Surprise, it's another Jerry Bruckheimer show on CBS. FATE: Expect success and spin offs - Eleventh Hour: Miami and Eleventh Hour: New York.

PROJECT GARY (CBS) -- In the same mold of the "Fat Guy and Hot Wife" shows that have saturated TV over the last 10 years, except this guy is divorced and his ex-wife is (former Abercrombie and Fitch model) Jamie King. Jay Mohr will be charged with carrying this show...wake me when it's over. Of course you could say the same about Jim Belushi, Ray Romano or that guy from Still Standing. FATE: 6 seasons plus syndication.

Tomorrow: more in-depth analysis of next season's new shows.